BECKY: Well, it’s tough to be a villain. Tougher still to be minions, cronies, lackeys, imps—
You’re all thrown in jail when your bosses fail to those do-right, do-gooder-two-shoes wimps.

By the time those wanna-be overlords have overthrown their enemies and got them caught
They just can’t stop clammoring, can’t stop yammering about their brilliant plot—
Meanwhile, the hero’s got a lockpick hidden in his pocket; he’s outta there in 4 seconds flat.

Our solution is simple, arm the lock with explosives, and that is that.

So I’ve come to you with a splendid, deplorable proposition.
We’re a registered, certified, officiated LLC, and our prices are low.
Listen up! Ya need trouble, my fiends. Right here in Macro City.
Trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with C and that stands for Crow!
We break the rules, we stack the deck, we leave the heroes with the check
So if you need a booby-trapped helipad...
Don’t hesitate, don’t wait ’til it’s too late,
You greatly will appreciate that we’re
Awfully, awfully good at being bad!

Now these heroes are a tricky bunch, I say, they’re a tricky bunch, they’ll try to
Talk their way out of your traps before you can throw a punch.
Talkin’ ‘bout mercy,
Talkin’ ‘bout deals!
But this fish is on the hook, and we don’t
Fall for newer tricks, much less the oldest in the book!
SCORPIOR: But how we do know that you and Crow are worth the cash we invest?
BECKY: Well, I’m glad you asked that question, sir! Here’s why we’re the best:
A free sample for your city—
I implore you to look around
Two minutes ago, no crime, now it’s burned halfway to the ground!

VILLAINS: *applause* Crow! Crow! Crow! Crow…

BECKY: Have I got any parents here? Ah.
Do y’know what kind of shenanigans your kids will get into in a villain-free city?
They’ll be helping old ladies across the street, gettin’ cats out of trees—
Using sickly-sweet phrases like…”How adorable!” and ”Well, I never!”
If you don’t want your kids turning "skywalker" on you and overthrowing the empire you worked so hard to create,
Then folks, listen up and listen good! ‘Cause I’ve only got one more refrain in me before I charge for overtime!


We break the rules, we fix the dice,
We bring our own Doomsday Device,
So each mad scientist that's gotten extra-mad
From being trounced by some young punk...
SCORPIOR: That flaunts his attitude and spunk--
MALICE: And hails from some sappy podunk--
VILLAINS: With his comedic sidekick skunk--
BECKY: Don’t hesitate! Don’t wait ’til it’s too late,
I don’t need to elaborate!
We’re awfully,
Awfully good
At being bad! ("We're awfully good at being bad!")